Sheikh Arshid Ahmad
Srinagar, April 08: In my entire life I am yearning to what I don’t have while completely ignoring what i do. I try, kick, yell and scream when i don’t get my way, as if the way I want is the only way, means a lot to me to absorb all pressure and to deliver in positive way.
I search the things with little or immature understanding of what I actually want (and need) but that keeps me some times happy , hopeful and goal oriented. The times are passing , moments are replaced by something else , need to replace the broken feelings by joy but it happened like a moving wheel buffered with all kinds of life aspects.
Each person is different we all possess things that others want. For example, I’m never an envious person want a good peer group to enjoy the life as such but the things turn around I haven’t had this in years, it happened like this that “Man proposes Allah disposes”.
Still I worked for with sweat flowing from my body each day ,wake early in the morning and do exactly what I want, when I want. On watching these people are praising me might be envious of my lifestyle when I operate myself I found the liver torn into pieces and down by my health.
Working hard to this desire for my life i often yearn for a stable schedule where I have to go and work around other people. Instead, I find myself in emotional breakups and shattered. Laughing and walking around the people , enjoying and people feeling so of my inner heart but I am in a position like this.
I see people with their relatives everywhere just laughing, kidding and enjoying but when I pursuit the things they are also looking like fighting of cocks. When I looked for opposite partner new life took me further ahead before I saw everywhere happy couples eating out together, work in unity etc. I also felt relaxed and a new joy came into my life, always there is a brain wave for future plannings.
So, what happens as is commonly seen amongst those that did enjoy after marriage , changed every thing I have no way of knowing what happened as every thing is constant. I am going to search myself possibly to the detriment of what I have so painstakingly achieved.
Well, I hope that my awareness of this problem is my first line of defense in not letting this happen, but either way, I can’t be sure.
This is known as hedonic adaptation and it is one of the root causes of unhappiness and discontent in our modern society. We are all stuck in a cycle of pursuing things that will bring us temporary—although hollow—joy and satisfaction before soon wearing off and moving on to the next thing.
Right now I don’t claim to know all the answers but I do know of things that have helped me with this matter over the years as I’ve cycled through stages of fulfillment and loss in my life. I’ve had to adapt living a certain lifestyle and trying to availing heaps of happiness but i fluctuated between abundance of frustration and lack of stablity so often. This experience has led me to practicing minimalism and celebrating simplicity. It has removed my desire for “stuff.” Overall, I’m happy about the result.
The chapter of my life which I learned and would follow that these up downs of life are the imperatives that make humans human and so I pursue each understanding this while trying to be careful not to overdo it, which could lead to discontent and can vanish all pleasure of life.
There’s a technique that can be lately adopted as a means to appreciate the journey of my life and hopefully help me appreciate the things is gratitude.The practice of gratitude should help a man to express the life what it is actually.
Gratitude has a funny way of making us focus on what we have instead of what we don’t. The more you express gratitude, the more you step off the wheel of life to chasing newness. It’s profoundly powerful.
Moreover we can do with gratitude that start appreciating what you have. Get off the wheel of life of chasing what’s next. Concentrate on the things on which you can satisfy your life and will leave you satisfied and hopeful.
Sheikh Arshid Ahmad